You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Randomize
