I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
