Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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