Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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