it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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