that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
