I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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