he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
