If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
