you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
