i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize