my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
