Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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