I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
