So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
as a side note pls kill me
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
