and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
