as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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