hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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