i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize