my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize