i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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