I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
