Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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