I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
