I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
