Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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