its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
