I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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