I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
