Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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