I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
