Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
