I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
