its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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