He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
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