I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
