so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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