how can u be prego again
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
