Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
