3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
