i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
