plz talk dirty to me
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Im part way to drunk.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
