what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
