:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
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he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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