Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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