Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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