Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize