I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
