So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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