addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
