i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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