There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
