is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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