so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize