I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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