hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
