Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He's a Shit stain on my heart
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
