just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
