im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
