OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
