great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
