Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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