Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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