highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Randomize
